Self-care in Times of Uncertainty

Today we signed the closing documents to sell our home for the last seven years. On the flight to get a few days of rest with friends and family, I wrote this blog post.

Here’s a quick list of events with lots of uncertain outcomes recently:
-Selling a house (six month process with offers falling through and paying double housing expenses)
-insurance battle for full coverage of hail damage (took months to get about 60k not 6k)
-leaking new roof
-several surprise medical challenges that required thoughtful responses 
-helping our 2e son navigate applying for a first job and getting a first apartment 

There has been a lot up in the air and it’s easy for the what-if’s to eradicate any peace.

This is what I’ve done and, while I can’t claim zero loss of sleep nor zero anxiety, this has brought me much more tranquility through the process.

1. Self care every day (a lot)
2. Capturing next actions to a trusted system 
3. Acknowledging the emotions with compassion. Letting them be felt and shared. And, letting them go. 

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat…

Everyone has their own favorites, these are the self care practices I’ve been using:
-walks
-tapping
-meditation 
-baths
-tea/cocoa favorites
-nature/sun sparkles 
-gratitude practices 
-singing
By nurturing myself, I both cherish the process and have the reserves to cope.

To have any hope of a tranquil mind during such times, I need to know everything I need to do is “captured” in a way that I can see it when I need to. That means I don’t need to keep thinking about it. I can respond to any reminder-thoughts by knowing that concern is already safely in my system or I can put it in my system if the thought is new. David Allen knows what he’s talking about when he says this fosters the peace and calm of a “mind like water”. 

I personally like to do step 3 while doing self care. It feels so much better to talk about the anxiety after the latest insurance hoopla while walking in a park and talking with a friend. It feels so much better to allow the disappointment of rescinded house-offer pass through while reveling in a lavender Epsom salts bath. And when my dear child does something that makes his future prospects less bright, tapping and gratitude practices are so powerful for helping me with the sadness.

So, that’s my one, two, three. And, in this beautiful life there are many times of uncertainty 🥰

International Competition Delights. Third Place.

 Just sharing the recordings and the lovely pictures in one place. It was intense and amazing!

Semifinals performance

Finals Performance

Semifinals pics

Finals pics

Billy Joel and Tears

Andrew and I just had the best ten minutes. We discovered Jared Halley and we watched something precious that Andrew created when Cameron was a few weeks old.

Getting Closer! Quick update.

Our Belmont home is on the market and buyers are coming and saying nice things. However, we have had no offers and it's been on the market three weeks.  It is beautifully staged. Most of our remaining work is on removing items from the garage, basement, and attic.

Today we focused on getting the apartment more livable instead of spending most of our time moving things out of the house... this is feeling so good!

Cameron is back at school and has just finished his first week of his senior year. So far so good and we're ready for some rest this Labor Day!

(What we achieved today... I'm laughing at YouTube's thumbnail though.)

Lots happening

 Lots happening and so many pictures... I figured I'd write this week's update chronologically and use the blog so it doesn't swamp inboxes.

4/5: Andrew chatted with me on an afternoon work break and canceled our 4/7-4/11 Vermont trip to see the eclipse. While very much on the mend from his health scare, he wasn't up for flying. So... I got out of work and started driving south to my chorus, regional competition (as planned) and made lots of calls while driving (as not previously planned). [Andrew is now fully recovered but feels like he's fighting a cold... fingers crossed that gets averted.]  That evening, I managed to book 2.5 days in San Jose with a dear friend to take advantage of the pre-arranged vacation time and let Andrew continue to heal from the comfort of home.

4/6: Loved sharing chorus and beautiful music with a dear friend.

Regional recording

My favorite two songs are at time stamps:

3:02:45-3:05:20

and

3:27:30- 3:29:44

4/7: Packing and double amaryllis blooms

4/8: Partial eclipse and then flying to San Jose with stunning views of the airport, city, and then the mountains as the sun gradually set.

4/9: I spent the day visiting old haunts. Eight+ miles walking along the ocean with lots of breaks and smiles. Checked out favorite old shops too and my old street along with snuggle trees (two redwoods with one wrapping a root around the other). My dear friend and I enjoyed Pizza-My-Heart Big Sur pizzas (40 cloves of garlic each) and snuggled her dog. I spent a half hour catching up with my old chorus too and feeling the love.

4/10: Almost five hours sitting by the ocean just talking and sharing time with a dear friend... with the grand finale of decadent hot cocoas at Santa Cruz's chocolate restaurant. Well, there was a second finale of going back to see the sunset by the ocean too. The whole day felt so nurturing.

https://youtu.be/w-SuGAhULsM

4/11: Mellow morning visiting some San Jose rose gardens, doing Qi Gong, and then heading home. My bedroom is now in negative pressure mode but they're almost done removing the mold which means... a couple more weeks and I should be able to sleep in my bedroom for the first time in more than three months!

4/12: Lovely Friday catching up at work

4/13: The surprise that Andrew has been giving me hints about for several days arrived! Here are the hints:

Size bigger or smaller than a tennis ball? Bigger
Bigger or smaller than a basketball ball? Smaller 
Plastic? No 
Paper? No 
Cloth? No
Wood? No
Metal? No 
Glass? No
Ceramic? No
Wax? No
Air? No
Living thing? No
Typically consumable?  Not exactly   
Excluding the packaging, typically consumable? Not all of it.
Scented? No
Function… entertaining, contemplating, soothing? Yes. No. Yes.
Room(s) I’m most likely to use it in? Kitchen
Should it be burned? Not exactly
Can it dance? No
Is it for a pet? No
Temperature controlled needing fridge/freezer? Not sure. It’s irrelevant.
Does it need something else to help it function? Refills, electricity, batteries, cranking? It needs to be modified before use.
When you modify it, do you modify it with heat? Not all of it.
Based on a book? No
Digital item? No
Is it an ingredient that gets added to something else? Not all of it.
When do I get it? Saturday or Sunday. It was last in Miami.
Have I ever ordered from this place before? No
Have I ever ordered this thing before? No
Did it originate in Florida? South America? It originated in South America.

HE GOT ME MY OWN CACAO POD! Tasting cacao pulp has been on my bucket list for decades.  Feeling so loved!

Here's to cherishing life,

Rachel