So… when you have an eighteen year old who has an Associate of Science degree and is working full time, but struggles with executive functioning skills outside of the academic setting and isn’t interested in help.
Hmmmm.
This is our latest parenting-challenge to ponder given this situation:
Chores: Dishes get done if he’s downstairs before he needs to leave for work. Dog gets walked if he’s not working late. Laundry gets washed if he gets a weekend reminder.
Career: College applications get done… not yet. Progress gets made… only when we push him to follow-through on what he says he wants.
Social Interactions: Positive when there are games and no reminders about pleasant interactions...
- No progress on improving things like: chewing with your mouth open, being gentle with other people’s books/electronics/posessions *except he is very careful with the car*, shoes off inside the house)
- Natural consequences for these things are considered an imposition
So… he’s now talking about working toward a Bachelor’s Degree in the Spring of 2023, which means we’re talking about a whole year from now. He’s a legal adult. His development is asynchronous. He wants to live at home. We love him dearly and want to support him.
What’s reasonable as a next step?
At our family meeting tonight we talked about this really openly with the focus on a mutually positive path. In the past it has been really hard to gain engagement on this topic because he's dismissed our perspective with the declaration, “It’s fine.”
Tonight, we got both engagement and a concrete plan. Figuring out the best line right now... how to back-off just the right amount… tricky stuff. Loving my boy so much ❤️
[Before posting I confirmed again that he doesn’t mind me sharing about him and using this blog this way. I both asked and received permission.]
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