Gratitude Practice

 A friend asked me recently for hints on how to establish a gratitude practice and I was startled to find that she was thinking of only writing.  So, here are some quick thoughts on creating a gratitude habit.

• Connecting any sensation to gratitude counts (touch, taste, vision and smell are my favorites)

• Fostering appreciation counts (one cannot express authentic appreciation without feeling gratitude)

• Experiencing the feeling of gratitude grows easier with practice, like a muscle that gets stronger

• Verbalizing and writing are great too and let you concretize with language what you're grateful for

• Customize a gratitude practice for yourself, everyone is individual on what feels both easy and good

Here are some quick examples, all of which are things I do regularly:

- Touch a tree trunk and feel gratitude for the beauty of nature

- Greet the sun with a smile each morning and let it warm the closed eyelids (it makes a lovely, red glow if they get warm)

- Purr at the feel of flannel sheets

- Close my eyes to relish the taste of cacao

- Snuggle pets

- Write "three good things" emails to my best friend each day

- Make a note in a "fun journal" about a top fun thing for the day (I got one of those 5 year journals and I'm trying this for the first time.)

- Write or verbalize notes of appreciation for other's actions 

- Relish a qi gong movement or a breath practice that feels so good

- Send a daily meme to my college kid and feel that moment of love

- Cherish the wonders of a hobby that I love (for me it's barbershop singing, but it could be gardening or a sport...)

- Notice beautiful things in one's soundings with joy (recently my winter amaryllis have been blooming, but I also notice regular things like cherished art on my walls)

- Recite favorite poems that thrill (I have less than a half dozen that are memorized, but I love every one of them)

- Visit with favorite literary characters (Isn't it wonderful that there are characters like Anne of Green Gables and Atticus Finch in this world?)

- Inhale favorite scents (rose/chamomille hydrosols, lavender/spruce essential oil added to baths, and the smells of foods/drinks like cinnamon toast and rooibos tea are some current favorites of mine)

- Enjoy clinical tapping... definitely a full body smile for me

And, for establishing new habits, I haven't found any guidance more useful than that of James Clear in his book "Atomic Habits".

(Lots of gratitude visiting Mt. Falcon this weekend)

Chosen Responses: Getting Bad News

I've just received this news from my doctor and it's on my mind. So, this morning, I've been pondering the things I do when faced with bad news that is not an emergency.

"Severe Osteoporosis" diagnosis (And, side note, yay for self advocacy to get a baseline DEXA scan, or I wouldn't know)

(Even bad news that is an emergency rapidly turns into news that needs a response other than 911 or run or fight.) 

So, what do I do.

The first thing I do is allow emotions and thoughts to flow.  Original thoughts tend to be more catastrophic and less helpful but the brain dump of all the scared "do this, this, this" and "but what if, this" is important.   Un-acknowledged thoughts yell louder and stall everything here.  The same is true for emotions. I let the feelings of fear, defensiveness, anger, worry flow through with acknowledgment. I feel them in my body and...

I do that first step with self compassion.  Whatever scary thoughts or feelings are present, experiencing this aspect of life with self kindness allows me to feel safe and nurtured through the process. 

In this case, some thoughts were:

- WHAT?!? WHY?!?! HOW?!?!

- But those drugs cause blood clots! I'd rather have a broken bone than a stroke. I'D RATHER HAVE NEITHER!

- Those drugs use needles! Lots of needles! I already deal with lots of needles for migraines!

- This is terrible!

And, with each scary thought:

- heart racing

- faster breathing

- chest ache

- skin flushing with heat

- eyes prickling with tears

 And, throughout this process:

- Allowing it all and responding with thoughts and actions of kindness

- Sometimes I actually talk to myself with that tone of compassion and safety, "I hear you" or "I feel that"

- Sometimes I'll do self care actions with the goal of nurturing, not suppressing the process

- Most often, I just breathe and feel that self compassion through the waves. I can talk to myself or do self care actions and I do. But, the most powerful piece for me is intentionally approaching the process with that self-compassion lens for myself. I feel that throughout my body and mind. I know I've got my own back. I am safe and loved.

Finally, I thoughtfully choose next actions from a place of more calm as I continue on with this wonderful life. 

And, I expect that this process is not a single phase; I approach every wave with the same kindness.