One Step Back Three Steps Forward: Dysregulation and Development
Especially for those with younger kids, remembering that, when they're tackling a new developmental mile stone, they may briefly seem to be regressing, can be hugely helpful! I remember how frustrating this was for me in the moment and I think this perspective would have helped.
To Control or Not Control
This is just a brief one, but it's a good reminder about avoiding unnecessary power struggles.
This one is a beautiful reminder about ways to enjoy the process of parenting. I'm usually quite mellow in my parenting, so I found myself nodding a lot as I read. My challenge would probably be #3:
Stop and take a deep breath
Sometimes when we are facing challenges with our kids, the best thing to do in the troublesome moment is nothing at all. Many parents think that they are supposed to jump up and “do something” when problems arise with their children. Obviously this is the case if a child is going to do something to harm himself or others. However, a lot of the time the problems are not life-or-death, but we act as if they are. Taking a moment to just stop, breath, and think before you rush off to do something allows a sense of peace to prevail in otherwise un-peaceful moments.
I have a particularly hard time not trying to fix any significant situation. Tantrums never got under my skin, but, when he's feeling hurt by others, my mommy fix-it-lady roars to action and it's time to have a full discussion about all the options and choices and potential results. While he responds beautifully to that, I need to remember that my kiddo isn't as socially naive as he used to be. He can tackle these challenges without me (and will need to to become independent). I've been working very hard recently to give an encouraging "hmmm" or "oh?" when presented with a situation and to let him take the lead. It's a classic tool from the How to Talk book too and, again, I've never found a better resource than that book for parenting techniques, skills, and tools that keep me improving. Here's to skilled parenting :)
|Our peaceful, family hike at Mt. Rainier a few days ago... although he got our hearts going when he stepped through those bridge railings for a better look! (There a pounding waterfall 100 ft away and a rushing, glacial river just bellow us.)|